Volume 95, Issue 82

Friday, March 8, 2002
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Domestic abuse hits a new low

Recombobulator.. Jeopardy

Recombobulator.. Jeopardy

This week's theme is Jeopardy. Much like the famous gameshow, we give you the answers and you supply the questions – comprende? Unlike the famous gameshow, there are no commercials and you don't have to shout at your TV. If you rub this page on your face hard enough, it feels like you're making out with Alex Trebek. Enjoy!

A: No one is forced to pretend they're really excited about some sun-trip, while mumblin' the age-old truth about reading week – no one gives a shit about their trip to the beach.

Q: Uh, I'm gonna say... what are... 'the folks who feel they have to get their hair braided and wear their 'all-inclusive' bracelets for an entire week after break?'

A: The sudden halt in production in the late '80s of this product by pharmaceutical companies has left eight to 12-year-olds in playgrounds all across the country to smoke marijuana and eat Cheetos.

Q: What is... the 'chill pill?'

A: They were born together, they'll die together, they sweat together and it's really hard to tell them apart.

Q: What are... David Pelletier's bum cheeks?

A: White-water rafting on an oversized souvlaki down a river of beer with naked members of your preferred gender throwing all-dressed chips at you.

Q: What is... "heaven to a really stoned dude?"

A: Really really sucks.

Q: What is... "getting too close to a bear that doesn't respond to 'whoa there big fella'"

A: Mooorv moooorv moooorv

Q: What is... "the sound a car makes going really fast in reverse?" (Alternative answer: what is "drunk media groupies shouting after Merv Griffin.")

A: Another name for this could be 'the skank-olympics,' 'lick it 'n love it-palooza' or the 'biggest hoe beast in the east competition.'

Q: What is... 'the tan line competition at The Wave yesterday.' Thank you for promoting women's issues girls! Y'all rule!

There are only a couple of more weeks left of insightful Recombobulator. Due to popular demand, we're asking you only send one question per person. This way, everyone gets a turn with the fun machine.

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Copyright The Gazette 2002