Volume 96, Issue 9
Thursday September 12, 2002

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Miscellaneous beer creativity

The things one can do with empty beer bottles are limitless. You can create musical instruments, elaborate weapons and strangely comfortable clothing with your average stained glass beauty. Unfortunately, because of space constraints, we weren't able to include all of our beer bottle recipes in this issue.

Here are two more suggestions we think you should try: beer bottle bowling (above) and building a beer bottle chandalier (below).

The former is pretty self-explanatory (visit a bowling alley if you are confused): arrange beer bottles as bowling pins and choose a "ball" of your choice. Be creative when choosing your "ball." Through our research, we've found that melons are quite good, if not too ripe. We also encourage the use of small siblings and, as our wonderful graphic artist has chosen, small pets, such as your goldfish and its bowl.

We've also included the beautiful work of art that is the beer chandalier. The truth is, we don't really know how to build one, but here's a picture of it. Find a real beer chandalier at The Spoke in the University Community Centre (and maybe someone there can tell you how it is built).

Got a green thumb? It doesn't matter, because a beer garden (below) is easy to start and even easier to maintain. An old wive's tale tells us that Miracle Gro has been known to have wonderful keg-like results. Is it true? Try it and let us know.

Equipment:

1 beer bottle of desired beer

water

sunlight

shovel (optional)

Directions:

1. Bury empty beer bottle of choice in fertile soil.

2. Water the area daily and make sure the area is exposed to sunlight.

3. Wait for beer plant to grow.

Note: It is rumoured that the planting of a Labatt six pack on the night of a full moon will lead to the growth of a "beer stock," which, if climbed, will lead to the all-powerful beer gods.

MORE C&C HEADLINES

GROW YOUR OWN BEER
...and 5 other wonderful things to do with empties

Contact The Campus and Culture Department

2002 THE GAZETTE