Volume 96, Issue 6
Friday September 6, 2002

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A&E duke it out

By Megan O'Toole, Maggie Wrobel & Dale Wyatt
Gazette Staff

In our first installment of "The Round Table," a discussion panel between The Gazette's three A&E editors, we decided to discuss people and bands we wished were either still around or dead.

Maggie: Dead is mean. How about just saying "away"? I mean they have parents and friends... what if you died? I would be sad.

Dale: Considering the headaches some artists have given me, I think dead is still being nice. P.S. You wouldn't even cry if I died.

Megan: I want Puddle of Mudd dead; their band is a big joke. Honestly, these guys think they're the next Nirvana, but they're really just Fred Durst's bitches.

Maggie: If I had to remove someone... um, I don't know.

Dale: You are too nice. There are tons of people that should be shot.

Maggie: How about Simple Plan? They're all over the radio with their shitty song and they sound like The Chipmunks... although The Chipmunks are cute and they're not.

Megan: And who would you kill, Dale?

Dale: Chad Kroeger and the female revolution that has plagued the radio over the past year. Just because it's female doesn't make it good.

Maggie: If you want to kill anything about the female revolution, kill the hype, not the artists. Many of them deserve the attention.

Megan: The problem lies in the fact that it has turned into a "revolution."

Maggie: I agree, because hype builds and comes in waves – and crappy artists can ride the wave.

Dale: If hype was a guy, I would want him shot. As for Chad Kroeger, if we killed him, we will not only get rid of Nickelback, but also Default and all his bad solo shit. So much good would come of that!

Megan: At the same time, we would get rid of his lame new record label and all of the derivative Nickelback clones who have leeched onto it.

Maggie: Only in this case do I think that we should kill him, because if we just "got rid" of him he would bond with all the other artists who sound like him and form an army of crappy musicians who could take over the world.

Megan: So it's agreed: death to Chad Kroeger. As for people we want to bring back, two words: Smashing Pumpkins.

Maggie: Yeah!

Dale: I would just kill them again.

Maggie: I want Lisa Lopez from TLC back.

Megan & Dale: Oh, God no!

Megan: She can come back as long as she doesn't re-join TLC.

Dale: I want Steppenwolf back. They would beat the crap out of The White Stripes and The Strokes and bring rock back to where it belongs.

Maggie: I got nothing, you rule Dale.

Maggie: I never said that. Stop typing lies, Dale!

Editor's note: At this point, the conversation degenerated into a round of childish name-calling. At press time, our A&E editors were on speaking terms, but still can't agree on who would win in a celebrity death match between Steppenwolf and Julian Casablancas.


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