Damn cryptic kids
A recent trend in Hollywood has box offices booming, and the University of Wealthy Ontarians' own N. Day Shamalamahamalan is the catalyst in that boom.
Shamalamahamalan, a second-year minimally informed tree-hugger student, is now seen as a pioneer among Hollywood film directors for his breakthrough technique of having little kids whisper cryptic statements during moments of catharsis to scare the begeezus out of people.
"It all started with the Sixth Cents, when that little prick
whispers that he sees dead people or some shit like that
then everyone in the audience is like, 'Whoa, this kid just scared the
fuck outta me, that's some scary-ass shit'," Shamalamahamalan said.
"I initially cut the scene, but when one of my many assistants kept on coming to work late because he couldn't sleep at night because of what that little bastard said, I fired his ass then put the scene back in. That'll show 'em." Shamalamahamalan added.
Films like The Shin-o-rama-ing and The Ding, have also
employed similar tactics to scare the crap out of people, but Shamalamahamalan
says the directors of those films are merely, "rip-off artists who
deserve to have their eyeballs gouged-out by devils in the ninth circle
Once informed that The Shin-o-rama-ing was filmed decades before
The Sixth Cents, a visibly irate Shamalamahamalan threw a typewriter
at me, causing me to die, thus preventing me from finishing this interview.
The last words I could hear as I lay dying were, "Nobody messes with N. Day Shamalamahamalan, nobody.