April 1, 2003

 
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Rock, paper, scissors

Cougar's sucks big-time

By Holden McCrotch

As the highly anticipated Major League Baseball schedule gets into full swing, another season is coming to an emotional end.

On Saturday night, the men's rock, paper, scissors finals were held just north of Barrie, and University of Wealthy Ontarians student Rubin Tugger managed to upset the number 1 seed from Cougar's University. Tugger edged the top-ranked Alfred Danielson 75-72, in a game that went back and fourth the entire time.

"You get on a run and it seems like you can't lose – it's a game of momentum," Tugger's added, regarding a 3-0 run he went on near the four-minute mark.

Tugger's season was abruptly cut short in November when he was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, but the second-year amoral conscience-free studies student underwent extensive rehabilitation and returned to competition in early March.

"I thought the season was over," he said. "But being a single male with access to the Internet, I was able to find methods to strengthen my wrist."

Tugger noted there were many exercises recommended to him, but his extensive library of Olsen twins videos and his economy-sized bottles of Vaseline helped speed up his recovery time.

Tugger's opponent, Alfred Danielson, who is an admitted Ottawa Senators fan, said losing the big game was nothing new to him.

"There was all this hype about being ranked first," he said. "But when you can't come through when it counts – it all means nothing."

Danielson said he would retire after this season and attempt to compliment his Cougar's education by returning to work at Price Chopper.

Pending drug-test results, Tugger will be the first UWO student to take home the RPS trophy in over 30 years. He gave a lot of credit to his coach.

"He helped me get into my zone and he helped me balance out my game," Tugger said. Tugger, who had pervasively relied heavily on rock, was able to adjust to his opponent's style and complete the upset.

Tugger said he will attempt to defend his title next year, but he is looking forward to recovering in the off-season. In the meantime, the league is looking into a suitable punishment for Tugger regarding the "mother" references he made to an official, following a controversial call.

"The league will not allow its officials to be patronized by the athletes," said a spokesmen for RPS Canada. "We're looking into incorporating video replay next season to eliminate this from continuing."

Tugger would not comment on these allegations, but he has previously been suspended for similar comments and, if he is found guilty, Tugger will be suspended for five games next season.

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