April 1, 2003

 
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Professor spells 14 words correctly

By Hooked O. Phonics

Itt wuz uh bigg daie four UOW Inglish profesor Jaymes Jonnson lasst Munday, az hee wuz thuh resipient ov uh mayjer awaurd frum thuh UOW arrts fackultee.

Jonnson wil bee receeving thuh 0203 Disstingwished Acheevment Awaurd frum the Inglish deepartemente four corecktlee speling ohver forteen persent ov thuh werds inn hiz nouest bok, Werds Frum Uh Goost: Pairents Inn Thuh Werks Ov Wiliam Shakespeer.

"Itt's naught evury daie thatt anee profesor, lett alown wun frum owr veree ouwn campuss, dissplaze sutch masteree ovur thuh Inglish langwige," sez Inglish dipartment hed Peeter Willson. "Doktor Jonnson surtenly dezurves thuh onner. Itt cudn't hapen two ah nycer guye."

Itt iz thuh grayt Shakespeer himmself too whoom Dr. Jonnson credites hiss prouess at speling. "Iy starrted too reed Shakespeer wen Iy wuz ownly nyne yeers owld," sez Jonnson.

"Hee inspyired mee two beecum innteressted inn Inglish inn thuh furst playse. Iff yore goinng two lurn, u maie az wel lurn frum thuh besst."

Thuh awaurd cums withh uh pryze ov 100$0 dollurs, wich Jonnson sez hee planns tu spennd onn uh thuhsoreus. "Furst stepp speling, neckst stepp sinonims."

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