April 1, 2003

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If you like bands that aren't really that good, read this

By Cynica Skeptic

Photo: Courtesy of Foshizzle M. Nizzle
NO MATTER WHAT BAND IT IS, THE GAME REMAINS THE SAME: WHO WOULD YOU DO? Bleached Blonds will headline the University of Wealthy Ontarians' 125th anniversary celebrations - after they play the parking lot behind The Embassy.

So, you thought the University of Wealthy Ontarians' 125th anniversary festivities were going to be full of boring speeches from random people who nobody cares about? Well, think again, because that's only a part of the celebration.

The gala event will feature many attractions, including a performance from local UWO heroes, the Bleached Blonds.

Lead guitarist and vocalist Brent Sportsy took a few moments out of his busy rock-star schedule to speak with Western Spews.

"My favourite thing about being in this band is definitely the music," Sportsy says with conviction.

"You know, like playing guitar and singing and stuff," he clarifies, adding, "It's a bonus to be able to work with my dad, who is also our producer."

The Bleached Blonds are quite well-known around UWO for their controversial music and lyrics that challenge the status quo.

"When I write songs, I think about all the things that are wrong with this world. I think about those people who ask for decaf and get regular coffee. I think about my friend Brad, who broke his goggles in a snowboarding accident. I think about the girls shivering on the streets every Friday night, dressed in their skimpy, clubbing clothes. I think about people who apply to Elgin Hall and get stuck with Saugeen," Sportsy exclaims, his voice rising with passion.

"I think about all those people, and I wonder, what can I do to help?"

But, unlike many of his apathetic peers, Sportsy acts on his outrage. His solution is musical and by expressing his sadness and anger through rock 'n' roll, he is able to reach out to dozens of his fellow students.

"At our last show at Funshawe College, there were more than 15 people rockin' out in the pit," Sportsy boasts.

"I mean, I'm not saying we're up there with U2 or anything, but you know...," Sportsy allows the rest of the sentence to hang, inviting us all to draw our own inevitable conclusions.

When discussing his musical influences, Sportsy attributes much of his own creativity to artists such as Nickelhacks, Defuct and the always avant-garde Should be a Deadman.

"Bands like those really know how to fuck things up. Those guys, man, they know how to rock out. Every song is a sonic journey into sonic land, if you know what I mean. I just wish that one day I could be that good and go to sonic land too," Sportsy says.

If Sportsy is trying to harness the glory of the aforementioned bands, it seems as though he's well on his way. With another show at Funshawe just around the corner and a debut performance in the Embassy's parking lot (which Sportsy prefers to call 'the second stage') it appears as though the Bleached Blonds are on a hot streak.

So, where does Sportsy see the band 10 years from now?

"My dad says we're going all the way," Sportsy claims with confidence. "And my dad was right about Aaron Carter, so there you have it."

Yes, indeed. There we have it.


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