UCC food prices kick
the snot out of students
By Butter Face
of Guy Invasive
|IF HE'S SO POOR, HOW DID HE AFFORD THAT FANCY CARDBOARD?
Some guy, who probably had some cause, just like every other annoying
protester, said stuff we didn't listen to yesterday.
A 2,000-strong protest
against Centre Snot pricing is set to kick off in the Universally Conceited
Centre atrium next week. The protest, dubbed "Free the Food,"
comes after a slew of other student protests against rising tuition and
"We're sick and tired of Centre Snot's astronomical prices for meals,"
stated third-year arts student Tina Slims, one of the protest's organizers.
"I could spend $52 a day on a measly portion of salad and a drink,
or I could have electricity in my apartment," Slims said. "Sometimes,
I don't even eat at all."
It seems that resorting to not eating has become a trend among University
of Wealthy Ontarians students. According to health sciences professor
Dr. John McFadden, more and more students appear to be starving themselves.
"You take a walk around campus and you see all these malnutritioned
kids with flesh drooping from their faces," McFadden said. "Why
do I need my Kate Moss posters when I can see that kind of thing here
on campus everyday?"
Second-year Minimally Informed Tree-hugger student William Bonet is setting
up an art exhibit in the UCC atrium to comment on the inequalities of
"The food vendors at Centre Snot are all big chains that already
have way more money than we do as students," Bonet complained. "Damn
these greedy corporations!"
The five-day protest will also include guest speakers and live music.
"When the organizers of Free the Food asked us to play, we got kind
of emotional," said Mike Meekly, lead singer of the emo band Yesterdays
Are Never. "So, in a rush of inspiration, we wrote 'Lunchboxes and
Sandwiches' for all the students at UWO."
Free the Food has been in the works for the last couple of months and
has already reached the attention of Food Services spokesperson Linda
Fullerton, who doesn't understand the organizers' negative views of Centre
"I think the reasons for this protest are unjustified. Centre Snot
has always had competitive prices and I think the rich student population
at UWO can certainly afford the food here," she stated.