Volume 96, Issue 100
Tuesday, April 8, 2003

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News roundtable: Three cynics, one dreamer

By Emmett Macfarlane, Kelly Marcella, Chris Webden and Paolo Zinatelli
Gazette Staff

Hard to believe the year is over, 100 news sections later. In light of this fact, The Gazette's news editors have decided to give you a look into the depths of our silly, twisted minds.

Kelly: The one thing I've come to appreciate this year is the ridiculousness of the University Students' Council. C'mon – there is no reason the USC should have meetings that last longer than my total hours of class. The debate over the dental plan was pathetic – it's not like they're running a small country. Perhaps someone should remind them of that.

Emmett: Ditto. But the university administration is no better. They sell food at prices higher than 1980s USSR toilet paper. Administration's constant interference in Orientation Week, its banning of The Gazette Frosh Issue and its destructive tiering of university sports teams is starting to make Western into its own little fascist state. Maybe the United States could come liberate us. Of course, we'd need oil reserves for them to notice first.

Paolo: I totally agree with Emmett. The administration not only acted like a fascist state, but at some points it seemed they were demonstrating their kindergarten skills. Both administration and UWOFA acted childish during faculty contract negotiations. I mean, the threat of a strike loomed over our heads, and there they were, exposing documents to make the other side look bad and blaming the other party for stalling negotiations. I mean come on, what are they – five?

Webden: Wow, you three certainly do bitch a lot, don't you? Let's not forget that the USC managed to freeze student fees, and put meal cards in The Wave. Administration, despite their love of spending money on things students don't benefit from, don't care about, or never hear of, has approved a revamping of Concrete Beach, ridding our favourite sunshine strip of its neo-industrial, post-apocalyptic appearance. You cynical bastards.

Kelly: Alright, fair enough – but I'll only celebrate the meal card when I can use it for $1 beer at The Spoke. Then they can talk to me about catering to student needs.

Emmett: Speaking of cynicism, how about how well our hopes for Middle East peace were helped this year by the crap that went on at Concordia University? If student groups in the occupied territory of Montreal can't get along, we're in trouble. I understand they're stuck in Quebec, but still...

Paolo: Maybe we are a bit cynical, however there have been so many discouraging moments this year with both the USC and administration. Maybe one day when they grow up, I'll regain some form of positive outlook. However, hell will likely freeze over before that happens.

Shannon (graphics editor): News was hoping to break the story of my impeachment from the USC for lack of attendance at meetings, but I showed you guys! I started going to those interminable Romper Room sessions so they couldn't kick me out! Now that I think about it, it would have been a lot cooler if I'd just let them give me the boot. Fuck.

Webden: Looking over this roundtable, I am fondly reminded of the issues that fuelled our section this year – making fun of the USC, making fun of administration and Shannon offering her satirical two cents. I would try to counter all of this by making fun of ourselves, but we're too professional for that. 'Nuff said.

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