Volume 96, Issue 100
Tuesday, April 8, 2003

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TV hits all-time low, water coolers threatened

By Maggie Wrobel and Dale Wyatt
Gazette Staff

If you've turned on your idiot box over the last couple of weeks, you'll have seen the most popular show to hit television since the original Survivor. We're talking about the newest sitcom, The War on Iraq.

Since the show began, it has eaten up ratings and dominated both daytime and nighttime television. Much to the annoyance of many Gazette staffers, it also has absolutely everyone talking about it. Be warned: water coolers throughout the city are no longer a safe place to gossip, as they have been taken over by fans of the show.

However, despite the mega-buzz surrounding this new sitcom, the show inevitably has some major flaws.

For the two people who may not have seen it, let's quickly review the often shaky plot.

With the huge wave of popular reality shows currently dominating TV land, it can surely be said that this "genre" is quickly heading for oversaturation. Thus, it seems as though the producers of The War on Iraq have pulled out all the stops in order to make the new show as unrealistic as possible.

The unbelievable plot follows a United States-led attack on the innocent civilians of Iraq, as an initially innocent game of Where's Saddam? turns deadly.

The show follows the main character, a too-stupid-to-be-true American played by George Bush, in his overly confident, yet most often bumbling, attempts to find his dad's old arch-nemesis. He will stop at nothing to succeed, and his silly blunders often result in crazy mishaps that would have George Jetson saying "Dubya!"

Unbelievably enough, the supporting cast is even less strong than its "fearless leader," including characters like Geraldo Riviera, the wacky newscaster who almost ruins the whole war (Oops!); a power-hungry, man-eating robot named Donald Rumsfield; and the quintessential ethnic minority in the cast – the stuffy, hilarious Brit, Tony Blair.

Unconvincing plot and laughable characters aside, the production quality of the show also leaves a lot to be desired. The shaky camera style used to shoot most of the show is reminiscent of the spooky big-screen hit film The Blair Witch Project, which was shot on hand-held camcorders. Ironically, The War on Iraq is momentarily just as scary as Blair Witch.

Anonymous sources inside the show are happy to report that it has been picked up for at least another 29 seasons. They also say to look forward to sweeps month when there will be special guest appearances, such as the guy who played "Goose" in Top Gun and Bette Midler performing "We are the World."

You can catch The War on Iraq airing nonstop on pretty much every channel, every day of the week.

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2002 THE GAZETTE