Volume 96, Issue 100
Tuesday, April 8, 2003

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And the year's best letter goes to...

To the Editor:

As my first year here winds its way down to a close, I sit and stare at the collection of papers that I've accumulated over the course of the year and remember something: "Holy shit, I collected every god-damned issue of The Gazette that hit the stands, including the pseudo-elusive Frosh Week issue that Housing banned!"

I have every Smoker of the Week, from the first to the last. I have every Planet Me, even the ones that were just confusing instead of funny, and I have every amateur cartoon section, no matter how horrible, or wonderful, they were. I have every special issue, and, as a result of the "Best of London" issue, have taken to using the phrase "any place with a soup du jour must be classy" in my regular rotation of pointless and confusing quips.

After looking at all of these papers, and remembering the laughs and shocks I got out of all of them, I wonder to myself what it was all for. Why the hell would anyone collect every issue of a free paper? Was it just to say that I did it? Was it because somewhere during O-Week I lost what was left of my mind? Or maybe it was so that I could finally have something, however lame it may be, that I could be known for.

That is the overriding reason for this letter to the Opinions section. I want it to be known that I do have every issue of The Gazette published this year, and that I have no earthly clue as to why.

My name is Braden Crane, I live in Saugeen-Maitland Hall, and I'm a paper collecting, no sleeping, Zoo hoodie wearing freak, and I'm damn proud of it!

Braden Crane
Saugeen-Maitland Hall

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2002 THE GAZETTE