Volume 96, Issue 75
Wednesday February 12, 2003
Bermuda triangle
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GAZETTE ALUMNI SOCIETY

TODAY'S COMIC


LAST UPDATED: Wednesday February 12, 2003 - 12:50 p.m.

Mercer resigns as VP-administration

Western's VP-administration, Peter Mercer, has decided to step down after eight years in the position.

"I had contemplated this for some time," Mercer said.

"There's a natural rhythm to life in administration," he said, adding it is common for individuals to return to teaching or private life.



Politicos face media spotlights

Yesterday's media forum saw six University Students' Council presidential candidates entertain the masses with dancing, impressions and jokes.

The forum was held yesterday afternoon in the University Community Centre atrium, providing an opportunity for campus media to question the candidates on their platforms.



Students battle in virtual cosmetic war

Computer nerds beware – the cosmetics industry is invading your domain.

L'Oreal Canada has developed "E-strat," an Internet-based competition that tests participants' abilities to manage PRIMA, a simulated cosmetics company.


University liable for young booze-hounds

Drunk kids be warned: Western is ready for you.

A paper presented last Friday to the Council of Ontario Universities by Michael Kennedy, a lawyer representing the Hicks Morley Hamilton Stewart Storie firm, examined liability to the universities' representatives in regards to the upcoming double cohort.



Provinces still hungry for funding
Health care needs revamp

They got $27 billion and they still want more.

In the wake of the Romanow Report, the federal and provincial governments finally struck a health care deal at the First Ministers Meeting last Wednesday.

 

MORE NEWS HEADLINES:
> You can thank evolution for hiccups and opposable thumbs
> THE BACHELORETTE
> News Briefs


Beth Kerim/Gazette
THE WARNING SIGN DIDN'T INCLUDE ANYTHING ABOUT BEING ATTACKED BY VIOLENT SNOW BEASTS. Much like the Empire, winter struck back yesterday with a vengeance, making Western's campus resemble planet Hoth more than London.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Jackie Chan's movies are generally just excuses to film a few breathtaking action scenes, so anything above and beyond that is just gravy. Shanghai Knights, therefore, represents the gravy train pulling into the station. This movie is flat-out great entertainment, and perhaps Chan's best American film.


MORE A&E HEADLINES:

> 12 QUESTIONS: Silverstein
> South Africans bring Seether to States
> CD REVIEWS: Solange, Simian, Bill Withers
> Cheerleader tries to bring cock rock back

SPORTS

Mustangs annihilate Laurier

When your roommate bets you $20 that you can't substitute nacho cheese mix for milk with your breakfast Cheerios, it's worth showing him who's the man. But when you cheer for Laurier, and Western's men's hockey team is defending Thompson Arena in front of 800 plus fans, you might as well pay up front.


MORE SPORTS HEADLINES:
> Volleyballers left out in the cold
> Western dumps Queen's
> ROUNDTABLE: was Vince vin-cere?

CAMPUS & CULTURE

Diets Clash:
Oscar Meyer vs. Green Giant

Carnivores and herbivores face off.

A new C&C every Thursday!


CAMPUS INQUISITION

Due to our staff’s raging jealousy inspired by years of rejection, The Gazette decided to find out how people around campus feel about Valentine’s Day.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
“I have no big plans. It’s just a shitty day where everyone who is in love flaunts it and everyone who isn’t is like [insert painful hurt expression here].”
—Steph Brand,
Women’s Studies III

“I am taking Lindsey Wilson out for dinner. Make sure you get her name in there — Lindsey Wilson.”
—Andrew Desmoulin,
Medicine II

“My boyfriend is going to his Grandma’s anniversary because they got married on Valentine’s Day [insert gagging action here]. So, I get to sit at home and cry.”
—Leah Leiska,
Music II

If you take someone out for Valentine’s Day, should sex be guaranteed?
“Definitely, if I play my cards right.”
—Desmoulin

“Yeah. If I am taking someone out for Valentine’s Day, then it definitely has to be someone I am having sex with.”
—Jeff Burns,
Sociology III

“No. You shouldn’t be guaranteed sex because it is something that should come naturally. You shouldn’t have to pay money to have sex.”
—Sean Cousineau,
History III
(Editor’s note: we hope Sean means for dinner, not hookers)

 


© 2002 THE GAZETTE