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THE SEX ISSUE

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Take the rocket out of your pocket, but keep the ring there

Up yer kilt
Kasia Iglinski
C&C Editor

There are three things in this world that I have never been able to figure out: the accuracy of fortune cookies, how to tell time on a watch without numbers and a phrase I have coined “The Myth of Commitment.”

A recent conversation with a male friend made me seriously examine what really goes on inside the male brain.

“Basically, most girls are looking for commitment. Guys, on the other hand, are not,” he said.

“But, not all girls are looking for commitment,” I refuted.

“Yeah, I’m generalizing. But most girls are,” he said.

Maybe it’s simply the Valentine’s season that got me thinking more about our conversation, but what I think my dear friend meant was that single men fear that making out with a girl will lead to having to put a ring on her finger three to four weeks down the road.

Clearly the subjects of my friend’s field research have been, thus far, limited.

I say this because the prospect of truth in his argument made me question my own beliefs about dating. Am I the antithesis of “girl” because I don’t desire the suburban lifestyle, with a white picket fence, 2.5 children and a dog named Spot in the next three to five years?

I turned to my girlfriends for a little field research of my own.
Some of them who are in long-term committed relationships are still unsure they want to hear about the “M” word. Others said they genuinely love living the single life — complete with a little “boots knockin’” on the side.

Not one of the ladies I talked to fit the mold my male friend had constructed.

In fact, while speaking to a girlfriend about her love life during our countless hours of procrastination, it became clear how much she prefers running from commitment than embracing it.

“He said it,” she once gasped.

“Said what?”

“Those words. He said he... well, you know... he... ,” she stammered.

Judging by my friend’s reaction, you would think her boyfriend had asked her to move to Mexico and bear his children.

During three hours of conversation, neither of us could bring ourselves to verbalize the “I love you,” thrusted upon my friend by her male partner. None of us could muster the gall to say, even in passing, those three words every girl supposedly dreams about hearing.

The point I’m trying to get at here is simply that, contrary to popular male belief (assuming my friend sufficiently represents the male mentality), not every girl has visions of riding horseback into the sunset with the commitment king.

For every girl that wants the fairy tale romance, there is another who wants nothing to do with it. After all, some of us are smart enough to realize that, much like the popular male notion that all women are commitment freaks, fairy tales, by their very nature, are myths.

© 2003 THE GAZETTE