Volume 96, Issue 78
Tuesday, February 18, 2003

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Singing the February blues

Bell Tolls
Jordan Bell
Sports Editor

As I sit here staring at my computer thinking of something remotely interesting to write about, I have come to the realization that February truly is the month of the blues.

It's a time to relish in the vocal majesty of B.B. King.

Not only is the snow engulfing the human population with the sun nowhere to be seen, but sports is stuck in a dry spell. Just when we need sports the most, they're nowhere to be found.

The NBA and NHL have just finished their All-Star games (which are a boring joke anyways) and are in the lull of their seasons.

NCAA college basketball is at a point in the season when conference tournaments and the annual March Madness tournament has fans salivating, but they're forced to endure the monotony of February before the month-long basketball orgy.

The unjust punishment sports fans have to endure doesn't just manifest itself south of the border. University athletics, particularly basketball and hockey, are concluding their respective seasons, with virtually the entire playoff field established.

Diehard supporters of the purple and white must wait until after slack week to experience the thrills of National Championships, where our hockey team will win again (you heard it here first).

Baseball's spring training is beginning, but does anyone care about a bunch of meaningless games? Actually, does anyone really care about baseball at all?

Even for fans of the supposed "lesser" sports February is a cold month. The Players Championship at Sawgrass and The Masters at Augusta National aren't until March and April respectively. The World Track and Field Championships aren't until later in the summer and the French Open of tennis isn't until the end of May.

I have sat through numerous psychology classes, more than I would care to admit, and one disorder they always speak of is "seasonal affective disorder." The hypothesis is that people become depressed during the winter months because of the lack of sunlight.

I hate to rain on educated psychologists' parade, but I now know the true reason for depression during February, when winter hits hardest. It's not a lack of sunlight, it's a lack of quality sports.

But then again, maybe that's why March is so extraordinarily exhilarating. The powers that be suppress our urge for instant gratification and instead, build it up for one explosive withdrawal.

I really don't have any sexual tension... honest.


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