Volume 96, Issue 57
Friday, January 10, 2003

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Western students: stop fakin' the funk

To the Editor:

There exists an ideal in everyone's head as to how everybody else should look and behave. Essentially, everyone wishes that everybody else would conform to their ideal, creating a world where all humans would share a common value system – a value system determined by one person.

I am no exception. I believe that the world should act as I want them to act, making life much easier for me and, I would like to believe, everyone else.

But there is one major difference between me, a person who wants to change you, and you, a person who wants to change me. I am much cooler than you. I am much cooler than everyone. I'm sorry if you thought you were special.

So now that we have determined the ideal to which all should strive to attain, you can all stop fakin' the funk. You can take your yellow-tinted frameless sunglasses off – yeah, the ones you wear inside. Guys, you can leave your mom's tan-suede-furry-trenchcoat-type-thing at home. With regards to foot apparel, shoelaces are now mandatory replacements for all silver buckles (velcro is acceptable). And no shiny pants. Ever.

This may appear vain, and that's because it is. Your behaviour needs work too, but I don't have to talk to you, I just have to look at you. I see you everywhere I go, and I'm tired. Tired of it all.

Kjort Jennsen
Actuarial Science III

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