Purple Pipe: Jimmy
The holiday break
has been an extremely difficult time for the Purple Pipe. Cooped up in
the office collecting dust, the pent-up frustrations of the magical shaft
came to bare as it spewed words of abomination concerning three sports
editors and everything Christmas.
"Throw me a frickin' bone here boys, this lame-ass shit you guys
write everyday just doesn't do it for your readership. You need the Pipe.
"I don't know about the rest of the basketball population on campus,
but there's nothing more enthralling than watching Jimmy Grozelle navigate
his way through a forest of gigantaurs, throw up some crazy-ass shot and
continuously bury it through the net, along with a dagger through the
hearts of useless post tools everywhere. I pity the foo who has to deal
with that shit give that man the Pipe."
The Pipe has spoken.
Mustangs point guard Jimmy Grozelle is the recipient of the Purple Pipe
this week. Grozelle recently scored 75 points over the course of three
games, including 31 against McMaster, 23 against Carleton and 21 against
"I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish
I had a girl who looked good I would call her, I wish I had a rabbit in
a hat with a bat and a six foot Impala."
Jimmy Grozelle has satisfied the second wish, but unfortunately, he has
yet to fulfill the first (we're not sure about the third and fourth).
Fortunately, The Gazette has come to save the day and is letting
Grozelle be the voice on campus about everything basketball. It may not
add inches, but it will definitely make him feel like he's part of the
What are the main ingredients to being a great point guard?
I think the main ingredients are being a leader, seeing the floor and
basically spreading the love.
What do you think of [Dallas Maverick] Steve Nash's hair?
I think it's outrageous. I can't really talk, though, because my hair
was out of control there for awhile. I don't know how he puts up with
Who's the biggest trash talker you have ever faced in your university
The biggest trash talker I have ever met is one of my former teammates
[and now assistant coach] Matt Tweedie. He was always jawing, talking
to other teams, talking to guys in practice. He was always just running
What are the main reasons for the team's six-game losing streak?
Our injuries especially missing Nick Salomons above and
beyond anything else.
Do you think unwarranted hype has been placed on [high school
phenom] LeBron James?
In five years, I think he's going to be one of the top three players in
the world, but right now I think the pay-per-view coverage and all the
hype is ridiculous.
Do you think high school athletes, like LeBron James, should go
to college instead of straight to the pros?
Depends on their situation. In a perfect world, I would tell everyone
to go to college. But if I had $10 million waiting for me and I could
leave, it's tough to pass up.
What did you do for New Year's Eve this year?
We went to Ottawa, our nation's capital, and I forget everything.
Amen to that.