Volume 96, Issue 62
Tuesday, January 21, 2003

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Downgrade the housing, up the fun

To the Editor:

Traditionally, new Western students to choose one of two options – to live in residence or to stay at home. Each of these options is fraught with disadvantages. For this reason, nearby residents are prepared to offer an attractive third alternative. This option will easily solve the problem of the double cohort, and will make Western Housing look foolish for building such a costly new residence.

A recent raid in British Colombia revealed that 70 students were living happily in a single-family home. While laws here in London may frown upon such questionable living standards – always conscious of the bottom line – we feel that [Western President] Paul Davenport will support this plan 100 per cent and may even look to implement it himself. With the helpful staff at Home Depot, we have converted our six-bedroom shanty into a 60-bedroom palace.

The 60 residents will enjoy all the amenities of home, with the exception of "heat," "refrigeration" or any type of "running water." While pets are strictly prohibited, the multitude of silverfish that inhabit both the furnace room and attic are sure to keep tenants company. Keg parties? We don't think so. Pub crawls? Heck no! Weekend getaways to the bowling alley and mini putt are more like it. Fathers – trust that your 17-year-old daughters are in good hands. Mothers – send your sons elsewhere.

Original, entrepreneurial and civic-minded individuals such as ourselves are exactly what this city is lacking. We encourage others in our position to consult the friendly people at Home Depot to develop similar plans to realize their houses' true potential.

Brian Witruk
Medical Biophysics III

Len Kipp
HBA I

Lucas Manuel
Urban Development III

Colin O'Connor
Health Science III

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2002 THE GAZETTE