Volume 94, Issue 63
Wednesday, January 22, 2003

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SPORTS ROUNDTABLE
Rocky to Prefontaine to Hoosiers - best sports flicks ever

By Jordan Bell, Ryan Hickman and Benjamin Mills
Gazette Staff

Our beloved sports editors each pulled up a chair to the roundtable, got drunk and ranted about sports movies. Actually, we were stone cold sober, trying to figure out ways to fill space in this godforsaken newspaper. Just kidding.



Jordan: Hoosiers. If you don't get up and grab a basketball after watching that one, you have no soul.

Ben: Major League was a definite classic, despite my hatred of baseball. The sequels may have cheapened faster than expired meat at Price Chopper, but that's because Charlie Sheen left.

Hickman: The Bad News Bears. Where else can you see Walter Mattheau totally hammered? Nowhere – 'cause he's dead.

Jordan: A diamond in the rough for me is Prefontaine. It's a great story, and you have to respect the guy after watching that film.

Hickman: I just loved the realistic fight scenes in the Rocky series, and one can't forget the rim-rattling dunks on eight-foot nets in Above the Rim.

Ben: Two words: Slap Shot.

Jordan: It wasn't Tiger Woods who started the golf craze: it was none other than Happy Gilmore. Is there a more classic line than, "You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"

Hickman: I only play with wooden clubs. The Longest Yard was a dandy. I think Burt Reynolds is the cat's ass.

(Editor's note: We at The Gazette do not know if cat's ass is good or bad.)

Ben: Varsity Blues made me want to tackle somebody – preferably Dawson – but it also raised my appreciation for whipped cream.

Jordan: Al Pacino's speech in Any Given Sunday was riveting, and next to Showgirls, it was Jessica Spano's best movie... or whatever the hell her name is.

Hickman: Any movie that starts with the line: "I believe in the church of baseball" turns my crank. Tim Robbins makes Bull Durham and why does Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) always call him "Meat"? And Susan Sarandon? Hot... what?

Ben: I can say one that sucks, Mystery, Alaska. Someone has to tell the Americans that the New York Rangers are not, and never will be, the best team in hockey. Not even in 1994.

(Editor's Note: The Front Office of The Gazette thinks it's very telling our three sportos left both Rudy and Field of Dreams off their list. We dare say they could use a little more imagination and heart.)

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