Damn you Jimmy Grozelle
Gazette sports has often been guilty of jumpin' on the love train of particular Western athletes who seem to defy earthly parameters the ghost of receiver Andy Fantuz's rookie season is still swooping through the office as I speak.
But damn you Jimmy Grozelle, why did you have to do it to us all over again?
If you were living under a rock last weekend, you may not know Western Mustangs point guard Jimmy Grozelle scored 50 points in a 95-92 overtime victory over the Waterloo Warriors.
I'm still trying to reach 50 points for my entire Super League intramural career, yet a 5'8" (that has to be lie) point guard is scoring 50 points in one game.
Damn you, Jimmy Grozelle.
Damn you for sending our tiny newspaper into a frenzy trying to figure out how to create space to accommodate a feat of these proportions.
Damn you for forcing us into the predicament of receiving hate mail for months because we continuously jump on the J-Gro bandwagon and ignore other worthy athletes.
But enough with the bitter diatribe, we also thank you and salute you for giving us, and the rest of campus, an eye-awakening, jaw-dropping demonstration of basketball wizardry.
Unfortunately, the Waterloo Warriors have nothing to be thankful for, unless psychiatric bills and visions of J-Gro bombs dancing in their heads constitute reason for giving thanks.
Grozelle was forced into a new role this season; instead of running the show by dropping dimes to his vaunted offensive weapons, he was asked to drop balls into the bucket. Early indications of his new role are positive positively f#$%-in' unreal.
To the untrained eye, 50 points may not seem like a substantial amount. Michael Jordan and numerous other NBA players have performed the feat, but in a league such as the CIS where team play is emphasized and the length of a game is only 40 minutes, 50 points is virtually unheard of.
Fifty points in the CIS is like scoring with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera... at the same time (or for the women out there, Jordan Bell and Jordan Bell). It just doesn't happen.
Grozelle went perfect from the field in the first half and finished 17 for 20 in the game. He got shoved, battered and even had his face stepped on (by Warrior Graham Jarman), yet still fuelled the proverbial fire.
If Grozelle got even a window of opportunity, the ball was airmailed straight through the cup. He was like a man playing against boys, which is ironic because the only guy out there that looks like a boy is Grozelle.
It was a sight to see, but we promise we are officially off the J-Gro wagon... unless he scores 75 tonight.