Volume 96, Issue 55
Monday January 6, 2003

 
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Best of Arts
& Leisure

The Gazette's
Best of London

Best of Food
Best Chinese food at 3 a.m.
Best hangover breakfast
Best ice cream
Best lunch at a strip club
Best milkshake
Best mussels
Best pizza
Best place to get a sandwich
Best Portuguese chicken
Best selection of draft beer
Best sugar high
Best vegan/vegetarian-friendly restaurant

Best of Arts & Leisure
Best arcade
Best DJ
Best driving range
Best live venue
Best local band
Best place to buy clothes someone may or may not have died in
Best place to do tobagganing
Best place to have a gay ol' time
Best place to light a spliff
Best place to pick up a cougar
Best place to see a Scottish man in leather pants
Best place to watch pigskin fly
Best street performer
Best Sunday hoedown
Best selection of magazines and vinyl
Best tattoo/piercing place
Best used book store
Best used CD store

Best of the Rest
Best all-purpose sex shop
Best cabbie for drunken conversation
Best gym
Best hair salon
Best place to buy a creative gift
Best place to buy house accessories
Best place to buy long, striped knee-socks
Best place to buy men's dressy clothes
Best place to drop dead
Best place to find a unicorn
Best place to get a pet
Best place to plot a revolution
Best place to pretend you're in London, England
Best place to pretend you're not in a city
Best place to rent costumes

Best on Campus
Best custodian in the UCC
Best female athlete
Best makeout/study spot on campus
Best male athlete of all time
Best on-campus meal
Best on campus meal for $5
Best on-campus napping site
Best on-campus Tim Hortons lady
Best place to cry
Best place to photocopy a textbook
Best place to spend the most money on the least amount of food
Best place to stand in line
Best residence to party, sleep, and study
Least worst student politician

Best place to light a spliff
forest behind Ausable Hall

Allen Chen/Gazette

This Blair Witch-esque wooded area behind Ausable Hall apartments is littered with trails and is totally out of sight from the po-po's or some pickle-up-the-ass-inferiority-complex residence advisor, ready to put the kibosh on your weed-smoking plans. This area is mainly used by Saugeen-Maitland Hall residents, but all students should make the journey to the forest along the banks of Medway Creek merely to witness its utter majesty, or to smoke some doobs. There is only one pitfall to this magical forest - the mud. Once the early snow starts falling, the ground turns into a soupy bog, but there are ways around it - bring boots and wear pants that can get dirty. Dressing in layers is also essential, because it can get pretty hot when you choke on a toke and start hacking your brains out. This leads to my next point: bring water - nothing will save your ass more. Now that you're ready to venture off into the unknown, familiarize yourself with the area and know where - and where not - to run, in case "The Man" wants to waste more of his time busting harmless potheads rather than getting the "real" drug dealers. Take a walk along the trails during the day and find out where they lead (do this while sober and reward yourself with a chocolate blunt at the end of your journey). Who knows what you'll discover, and maybe you'll find some secret escape routes, which will come through in the clutch. Happy trails and remember the golden rules of pot smoking: Roller's rights, puff puff give and always pass the dutchie to the left-hand side.
-Benjamin Mills

© 2002 THE GAZETTE