Volume 96, Issue 55
Monday January 6, 2003

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Best on Campus

The Gazette's
Best of London

Best of Food
Best Chinese food at 3 a.m.
Best hangover breakfast
Best ice cream
Best lunch at a strip club
Best milkshake
Best mussels
Best pizza
Best place to get a sandwich
Best Portuguese chicken
Best selection of draft beer
Best sugar high
Best vegan/vegetarian-friendly restaurant

Best of Arts & Leisure
Best arcade
Best DJ
Best driving range
Best live venue
Best local band
Best place to buy clothes someone may or may not have died in
Best place to do tobagganing
Best place to have a gay ol' time
Best place to light a spliff
Best place to pick up a cougar
Best place to see a Scottish man in leather pants
Best place to watch pigskin fly
Best street performer
Best Sunday hoedown
Best selection of magazines and vinyl
Best tattoo/piercing place
Best used book store
Best used CD store

Best of the Rest
Best all-purpose sex shop
Best cabbie for drunken conversation
Best gym
Best hair salon
Best place to buy a creative gift
Best place to buy house accessories
Best place to buy long, striped knee-socks
Best place to buy men's dressy clothes
Best place to drop dead
Best place to find a unicorn
Best place to get a pet
Best place to plot a revolution
Best place to pretend you're in London, England
Best place to pretend you're not in a city
Best place to rent costumes

Best on Campus
Best custodian in the UCC
Best female athlete
Best makeout/study spot on campus
Best male athlete of all time
Best on-campus meal
Best on campus meal for $5
Best on-campus napping site
Best on-campus Tim Hortons lady
Best place to cry
Best place to photocopy a textbook
Best place to spend the most money on the least amount of food
Best place to stand in line
Best residence to party, sleep, and study
Least worst student politician

Best makeout/study spot on campus
5th of the Weldon Library

Let's face it, a makeout spot must have several features to ensure it properly serves its function - without these features, the couple might as well go home. First, the spot must be indoors to prevent any embarrassing shrinkage - University College Hill is likely out. Weldon's climate, however, is perfectly suited for those who seek a temperate environment for some good ol' hanky-panky. Secondly, the makeout spot must be strategically located, yet still secluded. Weldon boasts a central location and there are many little niches all over the fifth floor perfect for intimate encounters between study sessions. Lastly, there must be some romantic focal point, because no one likes doing it when there is no heart-warming feature in the makeout spot. Weldon's fifth floor offers a scenic view of the campus that could make anyone's heart flutter or zipper go down. Weldon's little study rooms have added advantage, with tables large enough to support the weight of two people - regular maintenance ensures that there are no unsightly butt prints on the windows. The romantic power of Weldon also lies in one other feature - all those dusty, smelly books could just make anyone horny. Besides copping a feel and playing hide the sausage, the 5th floor of Weldon is by far the best on campus study spot, and for a variety of reasons. Firstly, it is not that popular (although it may soon become so), and as a result can be very quiet. Except for exam time, it is rare to see more than 15 to 20 people on the floor at any given time. Due to this lack of human bodies, it allows you to make it feel like your "home away from home" - for people that actually study anyway. While there is always the occasional shuffle of feet, coughing, pop can opening, paper crunching sound, and screaming orgasm - overall, it's pretty quiet. As well, due to its lack of popularity, it allows one to take a few moments for the most sacred of library duties - napping. You can put you head down, and dream away.
-Paolo Zinatelli and Marshall Bellamy