Volume 96, Issue 55
Monday January 6, 2003

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Best of the Rest

The Gazette's
Best of London

Best of Food
Best Chinese food at 3 a.m.
Best hangover breakfast
Best ice cream
Best lunch at a strip club
Best milkshake
Best mussels
Best pizza
Best place to get a sandwich
Best Portuguese chicken
Best selection of draft beer
Best sugar high
Best vegan/vegetarian-friendly restaurant

Best of Arts & Leisure
Best arcade
Best DJ
Best driving range
Best live venue
Best local band
Best place to buy clothes someone may or may not have died in
Best place to do tobagganing
Best place to have a gay ol' time
Best place to light a spliff
Best place to pick up a cougar
Best place to see a Scottish man in leather pants
Best place to watch pigskin fly
Best street performer
Best Sunday hoedown
Best selection of magazines and vinyl
Best tattoo/piercing place
Best used book store
Best used CD store

Best of the Rest
Best all-purpose sex shop
Best cabbie for drunken conversation
Best gym
Best hair salon
Best place to buy a creative gift
Best place to buy house accessories
Best place to buy long, striped knee-socks
Best place to buy men's dressy clothes
Best place to drop dead
Best place to find a unicorn
Best place to get a pet
Best place to plot a revolution
Best place to pretend you're in London, England
Best place to pretend you're not in a city
Best place to rent costumes

Best on Campus
Best custodian in the UCC
Best female athlete
Best makeout/study spot on campus
Best male athlete of all time
Best on-campus meal
Best on campus meal for $5
Best on-campus napping site
Best on-campus Tim Hortons lady
Best place to cry
Best place to photocopy a textbook
Best place to spend the most money on the least amount of food
Best place to stand in line
Best residence to party, sleep, and study
Least worst student politician

Best place to pretend you're in London, England
Thames River

London's Thames River - if you look past the pollution and the smell, our city's winding river is a thing of beauty and fanciful dreams. Still, in the end, if you rely heavily on your imagination or the aid of hallucinogenic drugs as you walk along its murky banks, the Thames can almost make you feel like you're in London, England. You can almost hear the polite, unassuming British accents, feel the gray, rainy murkiness, hear the whistling of millions of kettles due to the mass over-consumption of tea and envision the poor dental hygiene of the general population. Yes, only London's Thames River can help conjure up the slew of British stereotypes people have been perpetuating for years. Of course, if you and your buddies go out for a night on the town and talk in fake British accents while wearing rugby shirts, just about anywhere in our city can be used to perpetuate the delusion that you're in England. Be creative. Be stupid. Have fun. Just remember, when the cops come for you, address them as "bobbies."
-Chris Lackner