Volume 96, Issue 87
Friday, March 14, 2003

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Leafs over the hill

By B.J. Noufaily
Gazette Staff

They say there's a sucker born every minute. In Canada, we call them Leafs fans.

Every year the Leafs con their fans into believing they can win a Cup. This is the worst year yet, with the tease of the talented Owen Nolan poised to sucker fans in more. Why would a team that is among the oldest in the NHL try to get older? Housley, Gilmour and Wesley add over 110 years to the roster.

Get the Metamucil and Preparation H out – these guys are falling apart. Each of the four new Leafs have been hurt this in the past two months. Excluding Nolan, these guys are all run-down geezers who will fall apart after the multiple overtimes and seven game series that are a part of a gruelling Stanley Cup drive.

Suckers, or rather Leafs fans, will argue these guys have experience – even experience playing together. But Gilmour and Roberts haven't won a Cup since they were Calgary Flames in 1989.

The new 2003 Leafs look like a crappy, outplayed, over-the-hill '70s band reunion tour, with Doug Gilmour as the frontman. Leafs fans proclaim Gilmour as the new Messiah. Yet sadly, we've seen this before. In 1996 and 2000, the Leafs added a popular, gritty ex-captain and they ended up losing. During those years, Gilmour's role was played by Wendel Clark.

Leafs fans, stop being suckers. Toronto will never win the Cup without a Norris trophy calibre defenseman. All recent Cup winners have had one – a Rob Blake, Nicklas Lidstrom, Scott Stevens or Brian Leetch to quarterback their squad. Housley and Wesley are band-aid solutions.

Well Leafs fans, there is some consolation. You're a bunch of suckers to be sure, but I have seen worse. They're called Senators fans.

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