NEWS FOR DUMMIES: Dummy news in poetic form
In a pathetic homage to The Gazette's Arts issue, News For Dummies will be presented in poetic form this week.
The world this week saw a start to the war against Iraq France, Germany, Russia and China all complained that it's whack.
George W. Bush said the liberation of Iraq has begun we're sure people there think the bombing's a lot of fun.
Jean Chrétien said Canada will have no role in the war some are glad we won't be America's whore.
But others complain we aren't there for our close friend it will be a long time before relations mend.
At issue is those Liberals, openly hating the U.S. they're arrogant fools, but I digress.
Saddam Hussein survived an initial missile attack but if he thinks he'll stay alive, he must be on crack.
By yesterday afternoon, Baghdad was in flames as much as some hate Bush, Saddam is to blame.
At least CNN will be happy for a while this may be just as good as the O.J. trial.
Premier Ernie Eves wants to give the budget directly to TV opponents say the Tories are looking for free publicity.
All this, critics say, is about the upcoming election the Conservatives think it will help their selection.
Speaker Gary Carr said Eves is wrong and the legislature's crucial Eves shot back, arguing Carr should stay neutral.
But now no major network wants to cover the budget Eves wants to control the media, so they're saying "fuck it."
It'll all come to a head, in the spring or the fall an election is coming, we're just waiting for the call.
Deputy Prime Minister John Manley has officially entered the Liberal leadership race it will be an uphill battle trying to make front-runner Paul Martin lose face.
Sheila Copps is another Liberal contender never mind, she's even below the title of pretender.
But what's the best thing about Chrétien stepping down? he's been in power so long, it's like he's been wearing a crown.
The problem with Chrétien is he thinks he's king the fact that people voted for him is a really sad thing.
Quebec Premier Bernard Landry decided to change plans for separation I guess sovereignty has suffered from a bout of constipation.
Landry wants Canada and Quebec to come to a new political arrangement instead of separation, he just wants estrangement.
But one last comment, before News for Dummies comes to an end this poetry stuff is fucking hard.