Volume 96, Issue 95
Friday, March 28, 2003

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The liberty of a free piss

Re: "Arts Issue," Mar. 21

To the Editor:

I noticed something when I read your [piece] in The Gazette's Arts Issue. Adam Fisch, are you really, really afraid of pissing in open places? I didn't actually finish reading your thing, because there were too many sillybulls; and I'm no cattle rustler.

My advice to you is that you confront your fears openly. You need to see for yourself that normal people piss freely, and are also less likely to die young from a heart attack.

So, next time you are on campus, and it is a nice sunny day, with lots of students out all over – some in groups, some by themselves – drop your pants and piss right where you're standing. Piss on the wall or on a fire hydrant (there's lots along University Drive). I promise this will help you, as long as you are not arrested, and your bitterness will lessen, if not go away all together.

Your fear is like a black hood pulled down over your eyes; it keeps you from seeing that stupid people are beautiful. So, go and piss up that tree, man, and remember that life is too short to be taken-uh, too short, oh forget it.

Thomas Covenant
Neuroscience '03

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