November 12, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 41  

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Celebrity Dartboard
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!

Ben Affleck, how we loathe thee. How is it possible for someone to be as cocky as you with such a shabby career record? Lets take a stroll through Affleck’s silver screen history: the recent bomb Gigli immediately comes to mind, but we mustn’t forget that B-Lo, along with the insufferable Matt Damon, was also a willing participant in such self-conscious tripe as Mall Rats, Dogma and the oh-so-clever gem Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Even when he’s in half-decent films (eg. Dazed and Confused, The Sum of All Fears), Affleck’s role is either minimal or just plain annoying.

All things considered, the best thing Affleck’s been in is Gwyneth Paltrow and the biggest thing he’s been in is J-Lo. Yet all the same, he gets more hype than his girlfriend’s giant ass. And that is why he deserves a big dart to the forehead.



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