November 12, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 41  

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EDITORIAL & OPINIONS

Bad grades? Huff some stuff

Mid-term exams have been underway for quite a while now and The Gazette thought it would be a good idea to provide a few handy tips for those who have to deal with receiving bad marks.

So, if your looking to relieve stress after seeing a big fat 51 on your stats exam or need a way to get that ugly economics mid-term bomb out of your mind, here are our suggestions:

Trash the University Students' Council board room
Oh, wait, someone beat us to the punch on that one. Oh well. Mindless destruction and breaking the law is never a good idea anyway.

Take out your anger on the big purple awning
Yes, we just said breaking the law is stupid. But, if you definitely feel the need to vandalize regardless of our criticism, the big purple thing is just asking for it.

Draw a mustache on your prof.'s picture
Apparently vandalism is a good way to go...

Drop out of Western and go to Brock
If the stress of bad marks is getting to you, go somewhere that only dishes out A's.

Get drunk
Or, if you're under 19... , who cares? Get drunk.

Huff gasoline
It's cheaper than booze... wait a minute. What is this? Sault Ste. Marie???

Join a church
Pray for forgiveness. When it fails, switch religions.

Have an orgy, invite your prof.
Tired of your prof. fucking you? Now you can fuck your prof. [We're already waiting for your angry letters about our tasteless humour. Relax. It's a joke. We don't really want anyone bangin' their prof].

Hide in a pile of coats and hope it all goes away

Lie
Tell your prof. your cat died so you couldn't study due to mental anguish. Or tell him you have the clap -he'll just want you to get the hell out of there and he'll give you an automatic A. Or force tears by "using" a wrench in your front pocket. If it doesn't work, at least you'll have something to club someone with.

If depressed, write a letter to the movies a la Homer Simpson
"Dear Die Hard, you really kick ass. P.S. Do you know Mad Max?" Or "Dear Swept Away, you really, really sucked. I'm telling Glitter on you."

 

 

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