November 19, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 45  

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Celebrity Dartboard: Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!

You may not immediately recognize the person in the photo. That's because this isn't one of the pics that fame-grubbing socialite Paris Hilton would want published; rather, it's a screen shot of her homemade porn video (and we're not kidding, either). We figured this would be a much more appropriate way to represent the most infamous media slut to disgrace America since... well, since ever.

Hilton likely hasn't done a day of work in her life, but she's filthy stinkin' loaded because daddy dearest owns a bunch of hotels. Paris has used her rich, snotty socialite status to gain ground in the inner circles of Hollywood and rub the public's nose in her life of luxury. While movie stars are annoying too, at least they do a few hours of work to make their millions of dollars.



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