November 20, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 46  

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NEWS

Imaginme barfing

Ad Nauseum
Anton Vidgen

News Editor

I like some posters. Not all, but some. So an encore appearance by the Imaginus poster sale is OK, but not. It reminds me of a pretentious art gallery, only without the pretension and without original art. Come to think of it, the only thing that even makes it a gallery are the gawking students who think what they’re looking at is even remotely tasteful. Allow me to explain.

Poor Che Guevara. After dying for communist and socialist causes, his ubiquitous mug has been co-opted by dark, capitalist forces and plastered on anything that idealistic youth will pay for. Admiring his revolutionary gaze is the “cool” way to rebel while still wearing American Eagle clothing. Call it socialist hypocrisy if you want; I call it stupid stupidity.

The movie posters give me pause: so I pay money to watch a movie then pay some more for a poster that will remind me how much I enjoyed paying the money in the first place. Wrong medium, morons. I’d rather put my $10 towards down payment on the DVD version. That way I can enjoy the movie over and over, as opposed to cluttering my wall with promotional garbage that I could just as easily have yoinked from the movie theatres.

In the same thread are those who purchase the old tyme “Reefer Madness” posters or the ones with Bob Marley smoking a fat one. What better way to celebrate marijuana culture than hamming it up with the Weed King himself? I’ll tell you how. Save your cash for a massive spliff instead and trip out to “Jammin’” while trying to decide where to order food. That’s money better spent.

Then there are those like me who buy Salvador Dali posters for their “whoa factor.” Any artist who can combine six floating Lenin heads, a grand piano, some cherries and make it all meaningful is deserving of my cash. Even though I don’t profess to understand what Dali is trying to convey (probably something about Jesus and friends), I will always admire his elephants for their long, trippy legs.

“Reach for the stars and you can achieve anything,” says the typical, barf-worthy inspirational quote poster. It’s usually backgrounded by some boring and tranquil setting that has nothing to do with the actual quote. People who buy these are the types who rate the “Little Engine That Could” as the best book of all time. I laugh in your face if you let a quote poster shape your life.

But as I much as I detest the majority of the Imaginus posters, I save my cruelest criticism for the baby posters. Three naked babies stuffed in a wagon is not normal. Dressing them up in ill-fitting football uniforms is cruel and distasteful. It’s clear the creator of such horrors, Anne Geddes — or Lucifer as I like to call her — is practicing babyploitation. If I had it my way, babies would only be used for their intended purpose: crafters of cheap and stylish wallets.

 

 

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