November 27, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 50  

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Stink Matt like to violate sheep and young boys

By Nicole D’Cruz
Gazette Staff

Gazette file photo
MEEEOWWW!! GOTTA LOVE THOSE COUGARS! Stink Mitt look forward to the audience “cumming” on them at Call The Office tonight.

“I was standing at a bus stop, when Betti [Forde] was getting kicked out of a moving van. All her shit flew towards me — her rap mic landing at my feet. I had just bought the same one, so there was an automatic connection,” says MC Jenni Craige, while munching on some peameal bacon. This is the story of Stink Mitt.

Formed just over a year ago in Surrey, British Columbia, Stink Mitt is the lovechild of MC Jenni Craige, MC Betti Forde and Dr. Do This — a single mom of six, a cougar and a mysterious keyboardist, respectively. Playing to sold-out crowds and stellar reviews since before the summer 2003 release of their debut LP Scratch ’n’ Sniff, Craige is not surprised by their success: “We’ve been around lots, [just] not for very long.

“The success has been great. We were getting the payback before putting in the work, plus we like the young boys and the free drugs,” Craige jokes. But their love for young men is no joke; in tracks like “Jailbait,” Stink Mitt openly discuss their passion for the peach fuzz. “They don’t talk back and are easier to violate,” she explains.

Teenage boys are not their only target, as Stink Mitt thank “all the party sheep they have fucked” in their liner notes. “They don’t talk back [either]! Plus, a sheep can never press charges.

“We never [wanted to manufacture Stink Mitt as an image], we just did it because we are musicians having fun. We just happen to be dirty-minded individuals,” Craige explains. However, going slightly beyond their lewd lyrics, Craige and Forde do rhyme about a lot of prevalent issues in today’s society, especially those concerning women.

“We don’t want to be pigeonholed as feminists,” she explains, but Stink Mitt definitely considers themselves to be “equalists” and their goal is to “turn the tables on the misogynistic hip hop world. We have been bombarded with this one-sided perspective for so long.”

Thankfully, the future of hip-hop isn’t doomed, according to Craige. “It’s getting better with artists like Peaches [out there]. There are a lot of women in the industry who are actually taking some extreme routes [to speak their mind].”

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly why women are not open about their sexuality, but Craige speculates many are still exploring. “We’ve lived in a patriarchal society for so long, it is hard for women to see themselves in control [of their own sexuality]. By flipping the roles... we’re showing that you don’t have to play by the man’s rules in order to get the job done, or to be respected as a human being.”

Their outspoken views have received some negative feedback and Craige thinks this is because they “challenge a lot of male views.” Stink Mitt does not think men themselves are solely to blame, however. “For generations men have been taught and allowed to think one way,” Craige says. “Now it’s time to teach men a few new things about women.”

In the future, Stink Mitt would like to see a reciprocal teacher-student relationship with Dr. Dre. They aren’t worried about him forcing any misogynistic vibes on them, because apparently Gary Oldman has assured Craige that “Dre will only drop them some beats.” Craige is sure of this as she claims Oldman is her new lover. “It’s our way of reaching out to an older audience. Besides, Oldman is great in bed — he has a curved penis and great ambitions.”

It is clear that Stink Mitt has a fervor for fornication. “But be safe, get what you want, and remember to leave ‘em bus fare in the morning,” Craige warns. The first thing she would teach in Sex 101 class is: “There is something to say for a stranger who will eat your pussy. Marry them.”

Stink Mitt are excited about coming to London and Craige hopes that “someone from London will be cumming on us.” How should the audience prepare? “We’re hoping people will give us free drugs. And if London shows some skin, we’ll show some back. Love, Stink Mitt.”

Check out Stink Mitt tonight at Call The Office.


Stink Mitt Glossary

Camel Toe — “if you don’t know, don’t read this article”

Meat Curtain Shuffle — a dancing camel toe

Gunt — when the gut and the cunt become one

Sloppy Sock — a very saggy, sweaty vagina

Cherry Go-Round — a gang bang on your period; “We only do it once a month.”

Jailbait —15 to18-year- olds

Golden Showers — a little ode to a fabulous fetish (Ed note: sexual peeing)

Stink Mitt — a very smelly pussy. Be proud.



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