November 27, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 50  

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Hilton hits the farm: Paris Hilton launches her new reality show, The Simple Life, next Wednesday at 9 p.m.. This little rich girl is leaving her lavish comforts behind in favour of life on a farm, to prove that she can survive “the simple life.” Her best friend, Nicole Richie (Lionel’s daughter), will join Paris on adventures like cleaning chicken cages and sharing one bathroom with seven other people.

Delirium: It’s crunch time and everyone wants to complain about the 2,897,439 assignments that need to be completed within the next seven minutes. Well, the good news about such a stressful experience lies in the sweet magic of caffeine. When you overdose on coffee, Coke and chocolate things are sure to get a little crazy.

Average Joe: It’s true, this reality show seems to make the swanky list week after week. If you haven’t watched it yet, it’s not too late — the show is going to toss another twist at viewers next Monday night. One disguised fat girl + hidden cameras + four remaining men = well, something twisted.


Christmas: Okay, we like Christmas. But early holiday planning just doesn’t mix well with our hectic end-of-the-year schedules. Christmas, please, quit teasing us with your holiday cheer. We already know how to procrastinate and we’re too weak to refuse your charming décor, ear-delicious carols and holiday savings at the mall.

The bitter, bitter cold: Mother Nature has been quite the bitch lately. She tricked us with rays of sunshine to start the week and then underwent a complete mood swing and attacked us with harsh, killer winds. She must be put off by her monthly visitor — if only we could toss that bitch some Midol.

Jennifer Aniston being listed as Forbes’ most influential celeb: Okay, lets get serious: what has Jennifer Aniston done that is so influential? Her role as Rachel on Friends is not exactly what we’d call earth-shattering. Of course, there is also her relationship with Brad Pitt, which obviously makes a difference in the lives of other people (insert sarcastic eye-roll here).



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