Ask the Editor
Michael Jackson has been in the news a lot lately. Personally,
I find him creepy and sad. With the recent child molestation
charges against him, I actually feel very sorry for him.
As a representative of the media, I was wondering if you
could explain to me why the media is being so very mean
to Michael. He may be a strange, strange man, but he does
not seem to deserve the media stalking his every move and
digging into every detail of the case against him. Why
the lack of common decency when reporting on poor, freakish
A curious inquirer
P.S. Is Michael Jackson’s face dying?
Dear curious inquirer,
A lot of people might tell you that media attention just comes
along with fame and, I suppose, that’s unfortunate.
In some ways, famous people should expect a certain amount
of attention — they knew what they were getting into.
On the other hand, no one wants to be stalked.
However, in Michael Jackson’s (here after referred to
as “IT”) case, the attention is well-deserved.
As much as I believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” thing,
IT is obviously a child-molesting pedophiliac with issues about
IT’s gender, race and sexuality (not to mention IT’s
11 year quest to find IT’s last organic nose). IT’s
kids should be taken from IT and IT should be forced to decide
whether or not IT wants to be a black man or a white woman.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that IT’s
chimp, Bubbles, is at the root of a grand conspiracy against
IT in an attempt to wrest control of the Neverland Ranch. But
I doubt chimps or monkeys really comprehend sexual assault.
In fact, for all we know, Bubbles is just another one of IT’s
victims. I sure as hell wouldn’t be surprised. IT paid
off one accuser a decade ago — but IT continued to invite
little kids to “sleep overs.” What does that tell
To answer your second question, IT’s face has been dead
for years. Did you see IT’s mugshot from last week? IT
looks like an alien Barbie Doll after being microwaved by some
12-year-old girl’s perverted little brother.
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