November 6, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 38  

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EDITORIAL & OPINIONS

Soccer good, soccer bad

GOOD
Men’s soccer
The men’s soccer team, behind the stellar goaltending of Roberto Caballero Jr., brought home the Ontario University Athletics title last weekend in Kingston. The Mustangs defeated the McMaster Marauders 1-0 in the semi-final and the Waterloo Warriors 3-0 in the final.
Next up for the Mustangs: the Canadian Interuniversity Sport national championships in Montreal.

Penguins and sperm
Recently, penguins and sperm have gained newfound fame in the pages of The Gazette. The ornery penguins have been proclaiming “I’ma kick this bitch in the junk” and “Pass me some toast, bitch!” The sperm, meanwhile, have come under the attack of Pubor and the notorious condom.
Stay tuned: it’s definitely not the last time we’ll hear from the pompous penguins and the zany sperm.

Microwaves
Hospitality services will be installing two new microwaves in CentreSpot in the University Community Centre, resulting from the request of the University Students’ Council. Student politicos across the country are rejoicing at the influence their humble little groups finally yield.

BAD
Women’s soccer
Where the men’s soccer team succeeded, the women’s team failed. The No. 1 ranked team in Canada was ousted from national title contention when they lost 1-0 to Ottawa in one OUA semi-final.
The travesty of the nationals this year is that quite possibly the best team in Canada will not be present, but them’s the breaks when the playoffs are do-or-die.

November
What happens in November? Absolutely nothing.

UGLY
The “big purple thing” motion
Let’s be honest: the awning on the Concrete Beach is damn ugly. But spending $12,000 to get it removed seems ludicrous. The only solution is to learn how to walk through the Concrete Beach with your eyes closed — it can’t be that difficult.

Library talkers
Exam time is bad enough without having people enjoy a slumber party in the library. It’s come to the point that libraries are no longer sufficient to study in. Note to library party-goers: go quiet or go home.

 

 

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