October 1, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 19  

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Western good, cougars scary

Western sports: Breaking news: the Purple People Eater isn't fiction; there is actually a frightening presence travelling across the province, tearing the pride and dignity of university athletes to shreds.

The Mustangs won a football game, two men's soccer games and two women's soccer games this weekend. Did we mention they also won a men's rugby game 38-0 and a women's rugby game 41-7? Oh yeah, and before we forget, they also won three women's field hockey games, two men's baseball games and a women's lacrosse game.

As Western students, we know everyone hates us for toting our supremacy, but damn, the Mustang teams make it look so easy.

Hot dog lady: The sausage party is back!

The hot dog lady is back in her old spot on the Concrete Beach; our prayers were finally answered.

We were clearly willing to walk the extra 50 yards to indulge in her exotic and scrumptious street meat and to catch of glimpse of the greatest woman known to mankind, but it just wasn't the same not seeing her drop those ginormous dogs and sausages on the grill on the Concrete Beach.

Students pretending to be politicians: Watching students scream at each other during the debate in the University Community Centre on Monday was like watching the Detroit Tigers try and hit a baseball no matter how hard they try to make a difference, shit just ain't happening.

Rage-a-holics: They are perfect fodder for editorial cartoons, but much like The Incredible Hulk, these addicted personalities tear off their outer layers and expose their true self, as little as that may be.

And after that last line is read, we will find out how many there actually are.

Cougars: It was funny at first seeing celebrities like Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz cougaring it up, but now it's just scary. Cougars are running rampant across town, terrorizing little children with their evil webs of seduction.

P.S. Estelle Getty is still The Gazette's sugar momma.

Trampling on freedom of speech: Norman Finkelstein's recent appearance at Western caused an uproar from many who believed he didn't have the right to speak on campus.

Freedom of speech is one of the central tenants of a university atmosphere if you don't like what someone is saying, then don't listen.




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