ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw
“Your Body is a Wonderland.” “Bigger
Than My Body.” Does someone have a body obsession? John
Mayer, we really must know: are you really bigger than your
body? We hope so, because that’s your only hope for bringing
fans some genuine excitement. You certainly can’t win
them over with your sick, puppy dog looks or your lightweight,
Dave-Matthews-esque music (a.k.a. boring, repetitive and generic
soft-rock music). You probably think the way you slur your
words is sexy too, but instead, it comes off as a cheap imitation
of mental retardation. So why are you so popular, John Mayer?
If it’s not the looks or the voice or the music, why
do girls go ga-ga over the Mayer? Perhaps he’s using
some evil form of mind control... girls, watch out, or you
too might be hypnotized by this phony shlock-rock hero.