October 15 , 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 25  

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Solicitation, Gazette style

University students comprise one of the most sought after demographics for advertisers, so it’s not surprising campus often bears witness to a slew of legitimate and illegitimate business offers and marketing gimmicks.

With news that there are a considerable number of businesses who illegally solicit students on campus, The Gazette thought it would warn its readership about some of the more dubious ploys (as a community service, of course).

A company that tries to solicit big, juicy wieners via the hot dog lady.
This is only illegal depending on what’s exactly in the “meat.”

$50 to use The Cronyn Observatory telescope.
The lure often used in this scheme is the tempting chance to peer into windows at Saugeen-Maitland Hall. Note: this ploy is more profitable than porn because the view is often better.

Fake IDs.
Okay, so this one’s not the most inventive. But with the destruction of the Wet/Dry program, fake IDs are more fashionable than ever. Goodbye John Smith, hello Juan Sanchez.

Fanshawe diplomas.
Not many can resist the rock-bottom street price.

The pimping of Saugeen “prostitots.”
Yep, “prostitots.” Is it just us or does Saugeen have a rep as a dirty, dirty place?

Run plays against the Mustang football team.
For a buck per yard, the Mustangs will let you know what it’s like to be McMaster as you score touchdown after touchdown.

Portable TV Western television sets.
This is easily one of the lowest scams of them all, as students are tricked into thinking they actually want to know what’s on TV Western outside of the University Community Centre atrium. Students can also pay to have TV Western personalities come to their house and act out programming. Yay...

The “candid” shots from the W-Girls and W-Boys Calendars.

The black market organ trade.
Sell your kidney to pay off your debt. Sell your other one to buy a meal at CentreSpot.



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