to strike campus, adds masturbating to resumé
By Laura Katsirdakis
Western’s creepy campus flasher has upgraded himself
to the level of super-creepy naked masturbator.
The individual who has been committing indecent exposure
on and around campus for the last month and a half has
escalated his efforts to gross-out local females. There
have now been seven incidents involving the same person,
said Elgin Austen, spokesperson for the Campus Community
The suspect is a white male, about six feet tall, muscular,
with light coloured hair, Austen said, adding he has also
been consistent in sporting nothing but a white mask with
dark markings on it.
In previous incidents he merely exposed himself, but recently
he has also been seen masturbating and making “sexually
related comments” to the females he approaches, Austen
The areas he has been spotted in include the North side of
Medway Lot, the paths behind Elgin Hall, the creek area behind
Saugeen-Maitland Hall and near Brescia College, Austen explained.
The incidents usually occur between 2 p.m. and 7 p.m..
Austen suggested females take extra caution when walking
on campus and have a higher level of awareness of what
is going on around them. It is also wise to walk in pairs
or groups in the evening. If necessary, Western Foot Patrol
will provide an escort.
Another problem plaguing Western’s campus for the past
month and a half is the use of counterfeit bills at on campus
cash operations, Austen said. During this period, 27 counterfeit
bills have been passed, he said, adding the most common of
them has been $20 bills, but there have also been 50s, 10s
and even $5 bills.
All cash operations have been equipped with ultra violet readers
to detect counterfeit currency, Austen said. Hopefully, this
will curb the steady stream of fake bills that have been passed
on campus. “There have been two or three a day on some
days,” he added.
Two serial numbers have reoccurred on the counterfeit bills,
Austen explained. They are AWS0083089 and EVU9969665.
A word to the wise, if your bills say Parker Bros. anywhere
on them, they’re probably fake too.
Const. Paul Martin, spokesperson for the London Police Department,
said this weekend was very quiet. In other words, when the
students go home for Thanksgiving, petty crime incidents instantly
drop off. What’dya know?!