EDITORIAL & OPINIONS
Midterms are an ugly, ugly time
Thrust n' Perry
Reduce our course loads - the fate of humanity depends on
For as long as alumni can remember, Western students have
always been the best looking students in the universe. Over
the last 125 years, many students have met that special someone
on our very own campus (engineers and Brescia girls in particular
- what's up with that?) and gone on to populate the world with
even better looking children/future Western students.
Alas, midterms are upon us and all is not well in Londontown.
Student fatigue is threatening to drain the deep end of Western's
prolific gene pool.
Picture yourself walking across the Concrete Beach one random
day and you spot the object of your attraction. You're perfectly
aware this guy/girl is typically beautiful; after all, you
did meet here. When you finally get up close, you realize pretty
quickly the Sep. 9 edition of your fantasy looked a lot better
than this one.
At least three days worth of stubble has grown on guys after
spending nights writing philosophy papers and arguing with
themselves. No matter what our sex, our beautiful eyes were
long ago compromised by the gigantic bags underneath them,
betraying signs of the quest for a B-plus.
Our breath stinks like coffee, cigarettes and any other substances
we need to get through this grind. At least half of us have
colds. The worst, however, is yet to come.
But what if we do manage to overcome all these barriers and
actually go out with that someone we've spent these last six
weeks looking for (or at least looking at)? Try conversing
in this state.
"Yeah, I like stuff... oh wow, I should really be writing
my essay... so what was your name again? Oh OK... purple monkey
dishwasher... " And then an awkward silence followed by unintelligible
Now what? No longer looking good or sounding smart, the odds
are strongly against us. Let's say we do manage to play all
our cards right, and end up at home with this someone, the
roomies out of town, some Barry White on... and what happens
next? The clichéd "greatest night of your life?" No.
We pass out.
This may not seem to matter much today, but think about the
future. If we spend our time here unattractive and disgusted
with each other, then the unthinkable could happen: Western
could become ugly.