October 21 , 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 28   

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The Lover's Tongue: A Merry Romp Through the Language of Love and Sex

By Mark Morton
Insomniac Press, 230 pages, $21.95

Mark Morton delves into the study of language, but not just any language - sexual language. And isn't that the best kind?

With a title like The Lover's Tongue: A Merry Romp Through the Language of Love and Sex , who wouldn't be tempted to pick up this suitably crimson-covered novel? Morton devotes entire chapters to stimulating subjects like words of desire, words for breasts, even words for oral and anal sex.

An interesting section of the book, entitled "The Long and the Short of it: Words for the Penis and its Attendant Parts," consists of pages and pages of various words to describe the penis. Why stick to tired words when this book includes an alphabetical listing of synonyms: cum-slinger, cunt stabber, Mr. Wong (likely named after a certain A&E editor) and purple helmeted yogurt thrower, to name a few.

Conversely, the portion dedicated to the female region, "Down in the Valley: Words for the Vagina, the Clitoris, et alia," merely offers a handful of basic words, like twat and snatch.

If you want to learn about "Studs, Jades and Bitches" or "Strumpets, Whores, Cheaters and Bastards," Morton will educate you with his handy little handbook. However, his writing style is not as engaging as the subject matter and one has to wonder if the content will surpass the saturation point of most readers.

- Lori Mastronardi



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