Ask the Editor
Like many other Western students and indeed citizens of London,
I live in a building owned by Old Oak Properties. For the last
year or so, my building has been infested with Pharaoh ants
- tiny, brown suckers that end up in food, sink, garbage...
but most curiously, they seem to love our kettle. There are
always ants in the kettle (we double check now before we turn
it on) and crawling all over the base and the sides of it.
Why do they like the kettle? And why hasn't Old Oak done something
about these incredibly fucking frustrating and disgusting "tenants"?
Cause we've asked them to. Numerous times. And all we've gotten
are some totally ineffectual ant traps to put on our carpets
(what the fuck?!)
Trusting in your wisdom, I remain,
First, let me thank you for being wise and brave enough to
be the first reader to "Ask the Editor." Ants are vastly more
intelligent than people give them credit for. Knowing how kettles
work - and lovin' orgies - the little buggers dive in hoping
for a little hot tub action. Unfortunately, ants are also a
lot more stupid than I give them credit for, so they often
end up boiled to death and consumed in your tea or dumped down
the drain when you catch them in the midst of their crazy,
As for your property owners, I'd suggest more pestering. They
may not help you, but by the time you're done complaining,
the ants will have either died or driven you from your home
- problem solved. On the other hand, I'm a firm believer in
threatening legal action. Trust me. It works. [Note: The Gazette
has no knowledge of Old Oak Properties ever being a poor landlord.
In fact, I love Old Oak].
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