October 23 , 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 30  

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Ask the Editor

Like many other Western students and indeed citizens of London, I live in a building owned by Old Oak Properties. For the last year or so, my building has been infested with Pharaoh ants - tiny, brown suckers that end up in food, sink, garbage... but most curiously, they seem to love our kettle. There are always ants in the kettle (we double check now before we turn it on) and crawling all over the base and the sides of it.

Why do they like the kettle? And why hasn't Old Oak done something about these incredibly fucking frustrating and disgusting "tenants"? Cause we've asked them to. Numerous times. And all we've gotten are some totally ineffectual ant traps to put on our carpets (what the fuck?!)

Trusting in your wisdom, I remain,

Reagan Gale
Psychology IV

Dear Reagan,

First, let me thank you for being wise and brave enough to be the first reader to "Ask the Editor." Ants are vastly more intelligent than people give them credit for. Knowing how kettles work - and lovin' orgies - the little buggers dive in hoping for a little hot tub action. Unfortunately, ants are also a lot more stupid than I give them credit for, so they often end up boiled to death and consumed in your tea or dumped down the drain when you catch them in the midst of their crazy, six-legged shenanigans.

As for your property owners, I'd suggest more pestering. They may not help you, but by the time you're done complaining, the ants will have either died or driven you from your home - problem solved. On the other hand, I'm a firm believer in threatening legal action. Trust me. It works. [Note: The Gazette has no knowledge of Old Oak Properties ever being a poor landlord. In fact, I love Old Oak].

Ask the Editor advice about anything under the sun and read his responses every Thursday. Just send an e-mail to gazette.editor@uwo.ca




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