EDITORIAL & OPINIONS
Honouring the best, brightest
In the honour of Gov. General Adrienne Clarkson's honourary
degree of laws from Western, The Gazette decided to honour
other noteworthy people with honourary degrees. On with the
Honourary degree of the general personification of Western
The prince represents everything this fine institution is
about: being pompous, waspy and rich and dressing extremely well.
Unfortunately, he has yet to acquire frosted tips.
Honourary degree of sweet, meaty goodness
The Hot Dog Lady
Does it really need to be explained?
Honourary degree of naked masturbation
The Naked Masturbator Pt. II
The naked masturbator spanked and spunked his way to infamy
and earned himself an honourary degree. The first recipient of
this prestigious award is the second masturbator, who learned
some valuable lessons in yanking and the art of hiding in bushes.
Honourary degree of sporting stupidity
The Gazette is willing to offer Mr. Bartman, the man who stole
the ball from the Chicago Cubs' Moises Alou in game six of the
NLCS, asylum with Eugene Sheffer and Estelle Getty, as well as
an honourary degree, if he is willing to trade us the infamous
ball he caught.
Honourary Degree of bliss
Not only is the Captain a pirate, but he also soothes our
throats and murders our livers with his alcoholic goodness. What
more could you ask for? Not much.
Honourary degree of The Gazette
The graphics department
It may seem a tad self-serving, but The Gazette's graphics
department definitely deserves kudos for exposing us to sperm
and swearing penguins.
The Super Duper Ultra Cool Multi-Coloured Fantabulous Honourary
For flaming without fire, helping grotesquely obese people
get down to just being fat and for having the most sequines on
a pair of shorts.
The 2nd Annual C. Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding
Achievement in the Field of Excellence
For liberating The Gazette from pirates in 1973. The Gazette:
Pirate Free Since '73.