Jackass teaches dog Nazi salute, names
By Laura Katsirdakis
Princess Di is in the news again. Who would have guessed royal-crazy
Brits would keep their hunger for Di news alive long after
the poor woman's death?
Reports surfaced that Diana wrote a diary entry shortly before
her death speculating that someone was trying to kill her,
possibly by tampering with the brakes on her car. Spooky. Di's
former butler published a book about his inside view of the
royal family this week, prompting the yappy ladies of The View
to spend 15 minutes speculating on the identities of the suitors
the book mentions in Diana's post-divorce life. Leave her alone!
In Steinback, Manitoba, a referendum was held to determine
whether or not to uphold the alcohol ban placed in the town
for decades. The ban was banned, by a slim majority of 50.9
per cent. The news prompted many Canadians to realize how frightening
small-town Canada really is.
Iran turned over documents last Thursday revealing all its
atomic energy activities to the United Nations. When asked
why they opted to disclose these records, Iranian officials
said, "please don't bomb us, pretty please."
Kirk Jones, a 40-year-old American, became the first person
to survive a drop over Niagara Falls, even without so much
as a life jacket. Jones reportedly drank a large amount of
Vodka, climbed over the safety railing and went feet first
over the Falls. A friend video taped the whole thing. It is
not clear whether this was a stunt or whether Jones was, as
he claimed, suicidal.
In international news, a man in Berlin narrowly escaped being
charged under a German law making public displays of Nazi symbols
illegal. The man named his dog Adolf and taught it to give
the Nazi salute.
In more somber news, Cecilia Zhang is still missing from her
Toronto home. The nine year-old girl was discovered missing
from her bedroom and with the orange alert declared, the search
has been ongoing. Her parents are distraught, but so are her
neighbours. Jack Jia, who lives near the family, publicly announced
his cell phone number (416) 816-6109 and asked the kidnappers
to call him.
Dalton McGuinty was officially sworn in as Ontario's 24th
premier yesterday. He also declared a freeze on auto insurance
immediately after he was sworn in. So whatever exorbitant amount
of money you are bleeding for insurance, now you know it will
stay the same. Whoopi!