ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Random thoughts à la
Ah, random thoughts. The cure to those suffering from Can'tthinkofacolumntopicitis.
- Global's Train 48 is the latest crappy Canadian show to
be hyped so much everyone is already sick to bloody death of
it before an episode even airs. I think the show fails because
of a faulty premise. The show is about random conversations
between people on the same commuter train, but who in their
right mind talks to the weirdos that take public transportation?
Every bus I've ever been on, people either look at the ground
or have the 1,000-yard stare going.
- You know who has the best role on TV? Chris Noth from Sex
and the City. All you need to know about his character is that
on a show obsessed with sex, Noth's character is nicknamed
Mr. Big. It's quite possible he took the role without even
reading a script; the character name alone sells it.
Agent: Hey, I've got this great part lined up for you in the
new Steven Spielberg movie. It's a great dramatic role that's
got Oscar written all over it.
Noth: Sounds great. What's the character's name?
Agent: Shrinky McEunuch.
- Every time I see Shania Twain, I can't help but think some
guy who works in a Home Hardware up in Timmins never gets tired
of telling his buddies how he got to third base with old Eileen
back in high school.
- Funniest TV sports moment of the week was golf announcer
Peter Alliss idly musing that if he "switched teams," he'd
be interested in Richard Gere and fellow announcer Curtis Strange.
God bless Alliss and his wry British wit. This is nearly as
good as the time when Alliss, in the British manner of referring
to people as Master (i.e. Master Smith or Master Thomas) just
barely caught himself before referring to golfer Pat Bates
as Master Bates.
- NBC promos are generally irritating except for the ones
for Ed. Every once in a while they have a really serious episode
and the promo voiceover guy says "Tonight on Ed..." with his
voice just dripping with malice on "Ed." Nothing is as scary
as a one-syllable name.
- Speaking of Ed, I still can't get over the "If I wanted
water, I'd ask for water" guy in the Labatt commercials. He
went from that to starring in his own show on a major American
network. It's like if Jack Bauer's new nemesis on 24 was the "I
checked my notebook" guy.
- In a follow-up to my Coupling column from a couple of weeks
ago, Coupling has already been removed from the NBC schedule
during November's sweeps period. It hasn't been cancelled,
mind you, just "on hiatus." This is the TV equivalent of saying
someone is a little slow, rather than as dumb as a plastic