8 - GROUNDHOG DAY - 21/40
If you can't eat Wiarton Willie or Puxtawney Phil (although a festival about an animal without some kind of ritualistic sacrifice seems a little odd), all you get is leftover Christmas candy and pre-emptive Valentine's crap.
Colour Scheme: **
Groundhog Day has no colour scheme - meaning its colours are the browns, greens, greys and whites of February, which is something anyone wearing red and green in December can envy. Minus a point for the potential of a dark shadow.
Forecasts that are self-congratulatory: no matter what the rodent "sees," (animal psychology aside), it'll be spring in six weeks anyway. Wiarton merchandise?
The din of small-town blokes patting themselves on the back, drunk town criers and reporters condemned to death. Small-town country music fans having seizures - er, dancing. Sorry, mulleteers: the point's for singing birds.
Time of Year: *****
Obviously, the perfect time of year for a long weekend - every holiday is better with weekends off. With no stat holidays for the working class between New Year's Day and Good Friday, this would fly: (Provisional)
Anyone, theoretically. In reality, no one - unless we could get that long-weekend instated... but if you do dig the Bruce Penninsula's February festivus (and only its claim to fame that won't make you glow in the dark).
Drink Rating / Chances for Sex / Getting Arrested: *****
Because we're students, these are gimme points - Homecoming too is a useless ritual, but we always find a way to meet (read: surpass) this trifecta of minimum requirements.