EDITORIAL & OPINIONS
The following is taken from a conversation by The Gazette editorial board on Wed., Oct. 29, between 2:45 p.m. and 3:10 p.m...
"OK, so we need an editorial topic."
"This week is WIN (Women's Issues Network) Week and today's Vagina Day."
"That won't work. We already have a V-Day. There are going to be a lot of confused WWII veterans."
"Ha ha, V-Day. V-D."
"In the interest of fairness, shouldn't there be a White Male Between Ages 18-34 Week?"
"Or what about a Penis Week?"
"I dunno, would you want some guy coming up to you and telling you all about his penis?"
"Yeah, a penis is a good point."
"There was this guy from the Canadian Navy doing recruiting in the UCC the other day. Think of the temptation... this poor guy who has been all alone at sea finds himself surrounded by all of these WIN members wearing T-shirts that say ‘Beaver' and ‘Pussy'."
"I dunno. If that classic musical composition In The Navy has taught me anything, it's that the Navy has more than a few homosexual seamen."
"Ha ha, homosexual seamen."
"I wonder if there was ever a time when this newspaper had any class."
"WIN members actually had those T-shirts?"
"Yep. Not to mention the vagina-shaped cake."
"Did it taste like tuna?"
"There's this phobia called Vagina Dentata or something, where men are literally afraid of being eaten by a vagina. One of those guys should eat the vagina cake - it'd be really Freudian and stuff."
"So, this whole editorial is going to be about Vagina Day?"
"Looks like it."
"OK, then let's mention how the giant mother bug in Starship Troopers looks like a giant vagina."
"Is that the one with Doogie Howser?"
"Doogie Howser is hot now! He's on Broadway in Cabaret and there's this big billboard of him in Times Square with his shirt off."
"Do you know who would make a great Emcee in Cabaret? Christopher Walken. ‘It's Cab. Aret it's. Caba. Ret. It's Caba. Ret.'"
"I love Christopher Walken. He could dance, too."
"Gotta love those Nazi musicals. It's like that Hitler dance number in The Producers."
"We should do an editorial where we just make fun of Hitler the whole time. Who's going to complain, the Western Nazi Club?"
"Yeah, we don't offend Nazis nearly enough. "You know what would be really offensive?"
"Hitler as a giant vagina."
"So, do we have a conclusion?"
"Vaginas are good..."
"... especially in cake form."