October 30, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 34  

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Ask the Editor

Dear Editor,

I have a problem.

I have recently returned from Peru where I was doing humanitarian work and I have met a wonderful girl.

The problem is while I was in Peru I developed a love for the taste of Guinea Pig. I know it sounds gross, but it's a common food for many Peruvians. I have since brought my habit back to Canada and I have found myself buying Guinea Pigs in pet shops for a few dollars and eating them.

The girl is also a pet lover and owns a Guinea Pig named "Winston."

How do I tell her I have a Guinea Pig eating problem without creeping her out or scaring her away?


Concerned reader.

Dear concerned reader,

I'll be honest: you should be concerned.

Guinea Pigs cost way more per pound than Hamsters, not to mention they're all fur! But I guess not everyone likes Hammie-kabobs.

As I see it, you have a few options:
A.) Winston could suffer a tragic "accident." As a gallant act, you could "dispose" of his remains so your girl doesn't have to go through any more heartbreak.
B.) Take a trip to Arkansas. You'll lose your taste for Guinea Pig and gain a new love for squirrel.
C.) Introduce your sweetheart to the delicacy. Maybe one day you'll be at her place and she'll be serving up "Winston stew" herself.

If none of these work, you might end up making a tough choice: Guineaburgers or girlfriend.

Ask the Editor anything under the sun. Simply send an e-mail to: gazette.editor@uwo.ca



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