October 31, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 35  

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SPORTS

Outside the gates

By Jordan Bell
Gazette Staff

Below is what happened in the world of professional sports last week:

An NBA preseason game between the Toronto Raptors and the Cleveland Cavaliers last Thursday night in St. John's, NFLD, was cancelled due to a damp, un-playable court surface. Eight thousand fans were visibly infuriated, but after consideration, realized they don't even know what basketball is and were only there because there's nothing to do in Newfoundland. Mmm fish...

Tiger Woods tied Byron Nelson's career cuts-made record at the Funai Classic in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, registering his 113th consecutive cut made. Unfortunately, Woods was unable to win the tournament, losing to Vijay Singh by four strokes. Good job Vijay: you may be an ignorant asshole, but at least your not a pompous prick.

Pat Riley resigned as head coach of the Miami Heat. The former coach of the Los Angeles Lakers, the New York Knicks and most recently, the Heat, will stay on with the club as general manager and leader of Miami's mafia ring.

Josh Beckett pitched a complete game, five-hitter to help the underdog Florida Marlins defeat the loathed New York Yankees in the World Series. Unfortunately, only three people were watching: Uncle Joe and his two nephews, Cletus and Billy Ray.

The Toronto Raptors were scintillating in their NBA regular season opener on Wednesday at the Air Canada Centre. Behind Vince Carter's 39 points, the Raptors defeated the reigning Eastern Conference champions, the New Jersey Nets, 90-87. God help me! I am so tempted to jump back on the Carter bandwagon right now...

 

 

 

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