President Bush, poet
By Laura Katsirdakis
"Roses are red/Violets are blue/Oh my, lump in the bed/How
I've missed you.
"Roses are redder/Bluer am I/Seeing you kissed by that
charming French guy."
So where do you think this poem came from? A child's English
assignment maybe? A joke poem on a cartoon? No, sadly, this
verse was composed by the leader of the free world, George
W. Bush, to his wife. Enough said.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has won the California recall vote.
God help them.
In Las Vegas, years of tension and frustration finally came
to a head last weekend: Montecore, a 270 kilogram white tiger
performing in the Siegfried & Roy show, expressed his discontent
by lunging at Roy, dragging him from the stage by his neck.
When asked for comment, Montecore said "All I wanted was
an extra goddamn day off work, is that too much to ask?"
In a similar story, a New York man was sent to hospital after
being attacked by one of his household pets in his fifth-floor
Manhattan apartment. His pets were a 193 kilogram tiger and
a 1.5 metre long alligator. Reports are the man was trying
to relive his days at Saugeen.
Things are looking up for those of us who fear needles more
than death or taxes. Needles may be at thing of the past: vaccinations
can now be administered with a painless squirt up the nose.
Inhaling vaccinations? Sounds painless to me.
Australian researchers recently announced the results of their
test of a male contraception injection, saying it was "100
per cent effective". A birth control shot for men? The
tables have now been turned - now they're the ones getting