EDITORIAL & OPINIONS
If you can't walk
On the DL
By: David Lee
It's early in the school year, but it's already
People are causing traffic jams campus-wide.
They're crawling along at a snail's pace, wandering aimlessly
down a walkway and stopping to socialize while others frantically
make their way to class.
With that in mind, I feel it's time for the
annual "learn how to walk on campus" primer to be
published. So listen up all of you bad pedestrians out there,
please pay attention to the following:
Treat the walkways on campus as you would
a road. That means at all times, stick to the right-hand side
and proceed cautiously. Take it easy, go with the flow and always
establish a good minimum eye lead-time (MELT). People walking
all over the place is the cause of most traffic congestion.
If you see someone you know in a congested
area, don't stop to chat. This slows things down drastically
for anyone around you. The best way to acknowledge the other
person is with a nod, a wave or the classic "Hey."
At this point, as the distance between you and your friend closes,
you may ready one of your hands to perform the fabled Zack Morris/AC
Slater exchange. Clap your hand together with your friend's
as you approach, form a fist as you pass and release and snap
your fingers as you part. You can also try the Top Gun high
five/low five combo, though you'll look like an ass if you screw
Nobody likes the slow guy in front. The worst
instances of this occur at one of the many choke points on campus,
so named because these are the areas where one is most likely
to throttle the offending pedestrian. A particularly bad choke
point is at the junction of Social Science and Concrete Beach,
so all I can suggest is keep to the right. And whoever has his
or her finger on the proverbial button - please finish Concrete
Pay attention to your surroundings. In the
military, the ability to keep tabs on your immediate environment
is called "situational awareness." While you're not
a soldier and Western is a far cry from a battlefield, please
be aware of your surroundings. Don't cut other people off, don't
walk on others' heels and watch where you swing your arms.
Hopefully the University Students' Council
can cook up some sort of webcam system whereby students can
check on-campus traffic before leaving their residence or place
of business. Barring that, just have some courtesy for your
also-late-for-class fellow students.