ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Random thoughts from
TV Land, courtesy of Shuk
This week's random thoughts while channel-surfing...
You know that Viagra
ad set to Queen's "We Are The Champions" where all the men
are dancing around the neighbourhood? Imagine the comedy when
some little kid asks "Mommy, what's Viagra?" Also, if it's
a Viagra ad, wouldn't "We Will Rock You" fit better?
For those of you without
afternoon classes or for those who like to skip classes, Family
Guy is on every 2:30 in the afternoon on TBS. TBS? What the
ass? Did they lose the rights to Mama's Family?
My favourite movie ad
is for Eddie Murphy's latest kids flick, The Haunted Mansion.
Way to be creative with the title, guys. Apparently the next
choice was The House With Spooky Ghosts And Stuff.
If they wanted a realistic title, it should've been Eddie
Murphy Continues the Downward Spiral.
I'd be remiss if I didn't
mention the passing of John Ritter, who was one of those actors
who had a charisma uniquely suited for television. Say what
you will about the quality of Three's Company, but Ritter's
performance is still funny today. Also of note on Ritter's
resumé is the movie Stay Tuned, about a guy that gets sold
a satellite dish by Satan and gets stuck within the demonic
channels. I wake up nightly fearing this will happen to me.
Do Canadian Idol
viewers know they're going to hell for violating the commandment
about not worshipping any false idols? If you doubt me, you
can look it up in the Bible, right before that stuff about
the pregnancy without sex and Austin 3:16.
London is getting two
new CBS and FOX affiliate channels based in Detroit, replacing
the ones based in Erie and Buffalo. Pretty much the only difference
now is that we'll get... Detroit Lions games. Why God, why??
Speaking of the NFL,
one of my favourite sports announcer clichés is that Team
X is "a really physical football team." This is apparently
opposed to every other NFL team, who play two-hand touch and
count ten steamboats before rushing the quarterback.
Another new Batman
movie is in the works, with Christian Bale as Batman.
Not a bad choice, but is there no room for an Adam West cameo?
I look forward to the day when the Batman movies run out of
villains and thus have to fall back on the crooks from the
old TV series. I'm sure any number of actors would line up
to play King Tut, the kindly history professor who would become
an Egyptian-themed criminal mastermind whenever he was hit
on the head.
And finally, a quick
pick for the new Survivor series, starting tonight.
It's a tough call between death and taxes: Darrah Johnson,
the hot 22-year-old mortician, or Andrew "Macho Man" Savage,
the undoubtedly sleazy lawyer. Whoever it is, let's just hope
that unlike the last two series, the final survivor isn't
a first-rate jackass.
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